While I've never been diagnosed with any sort of mental disorder, I've always been convinced that I was a bit closer to insanity than most people. This, of course was verified when I hooked up (no.....not that way, u dirty-minded freaks!!) with a friend of mine over the weekend. It turns out she's bi-polar, and has therefore labelled me as such because she is convinced that I have all the symptoms. Now.... It's quite possible that I might, since I've never actually submitted to a psych evaluation, but after spending most of my life getting ready to be locked away in a padded cell, Bi-polarity is pretty much a relief.
It also helped to understand why I thought for awhile that there were two personalities in my brain. This came about because sometimes I have conflicting thoughts on the same issue, or conflicting emotions about the same situation or person. I don't mean ur typical "I want her even though she's ugly and unattractive" kinda thoughts. It's more like, "That girl is totally hot! I love her skin...those eyes just seem to draw me in....wanna kiss those lips..." and "Jesu Christi!!! WTF is wrong with that girl!!! why is she lookin over here? damn ugly cow.....". That was not a fictional example. I actually thought that about a girl I met at a club last year.
Of course, if I am indeed bi-polar, it explains that. It also explains how I can transition from icy composure to blind rage without a trigger, only for that to dissolve into pure and unadulterated lust.....Um...ok. maybe it doesn't explain that last part.
Separately though, I've resolved to do some digging into what exactly makes a person bi-polar and what exactly triggers it. I think it will be a fun experience as long as I don't allow it to rule my life. Of course, this is if I have it in the first place... lol.
-Kapil Dev
-Necrodevz
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Tell me what you think.... Be honest. I dont bite often.